I'm Not Lisa
by SuperPenguinLovesHerEdog
Summary: Dean misses Lisa and Sam feels guilty. Can Sam make it better? Sam's not Lisa.  bad summary try the story T for swearing to be safe.


Disclaimer: I don't own it. Don't sue me. If I did do you think id be writing on here? Eh I probably would write on here only everything I couldn't get away with on National television.

A/N: This sort of takes place after Sam gets his soul back but the wall hasn't fallen yet but there is no reference to the wall because it has nothing to do with the shows plot line just the characters.

I'm Not Lisa

"Dean."

"Dean!"

"DEAN!"

Sam shook his brother as he tried to wake him. Dean woke with a start, "What the hell, Sammy?", Dean shouted at Sam.

"You were talkin' in your sleep man," Sam explained, "didn't sound too good. Sorry."

"Nah, its fine, gotta get up anyway, got a new case in Washington state, might as well go now."

Sam was worried about him, but wasn't about to push it. He knew it was his fault this kept happening but he didn't know what to do about it. Everytime Dean had one of those nights he spent hours calling out her name. It was torture. He knew there was nothing he could do about it but that didn't mean he didn't feel guilty about it. Dean could say all he wanted that Robo-Sam wasn't him but that didn't mean he wouldn't feel guilty about the things his body had done without him.

They had spent almost 30 hours driving from West Virginia and Dean and Sam were ready to drop so both agreed to stop for the night at the nearest motel. "I'll get the room, be right back."

He walked to the office of the Route 30 motel 'Original name' he thought to himself, 'guess its better than the Starlight Siesta they stayed in last time they passed through New Mexico' he laughed at that memory. "One room for tonight please" he told the sleepy desk clerk.

"King or two queens"

"Two queens" he responded with ease.

"Will that be cash or credit"

Sam handed over the cash for the room and picked up the keys for their room and walked back to the impala and a sleeping Dean behind the wheel. He rolled his eyes and got back in the car before punching him in the shoulder. He laughed when Dean jumped and hit his head on the roof. "Bitch" Dean muttered.

"Jerk" he replied, "Room 20 its around back"

They parked the impala in front of the room and Sam handed over Deans key after following him to the rear of the impala for their bags.

" I call first shower," Dean yelled and ran to the bathroom. After laying down the salt lines and the Devil's trap, Sam heard the shower stop and Dean came out dressed for bed. " Go to sleep, I'll do the trap," he told Sam.

"Done," he said "put it under the carpet, its almost big enough to cover it too."

"Huh, thanks"

"Im gonna hit the shower, night Dean"

"Night Sammy"

"It's Sam"

Some things never change and for that Sam was thankful. As soon as he finished his shower 'Damnit Dean, I only got two minutes of hot water' he dressed and walked out to hear Dean talking in his sleep again.

"Lisa," he cried out. "LISA!"

"Damnit," Sam thought he had been tired enough to keep this at bay. "Dean," he said, "Dean."

"LISA!"

"I'm not Lisa, Dean. It's Sam, Dean. Im sorry Dean, it's Sammy." He knew the reason Dean called out for Lisa was because he showed up soulless and Dean could never tell him no. He knew that he didn't even need to ask but he was sure his soulless self had no qualms about showing up and ruining Dean's only chance at happiness. He knew Dean loved Lisa, but Lisa knew too well that Dean loved Sam more and she let him go. She told him to go from what he could figure out from Dean's rambling.

"Dean" he tried again.

"Lisa, please" Dean cried out and grabbed onto Sam. Sam just let him pull him into the bed with him because if it meant Dean got peaceful sleep if only for a few hours he'd give him anything. Just like he knew Dean would give him anything in return, it was just the way they lived for each other. But Sam knew Dean was upset about losing Lisa but couldn't get Dean to talk about it. "LEAVE IT ALONE SAM" was the only response he ever got. So he settled down to sleep because he always woke up before Dean anyhow.

"Sam"

"Wha"

"Why are you on top of me?"

"Y'ur fault"

"My fault, how is you sleeping on top of me my fault?" Dean asked as he tried to disentangle himself from his brother. "Move man, I gotta piss"

"Y' grabb'd me and wouldn't l't go" Sam replied sleepily as he rolled off Dean.

"Why the hell would I do that?" he asked as he walked to the bathroom.

"H'd that dream again" Sam sighed as he told his brother "I tried to wake you up but you grabbed me and wouldn't let go. I was too tired to fight you over it." Dean stiffened and shut the door to the bathroom. Sam sighed and got up to dress and go for coffee.

"Better get packed Sammy" Dean said as Sam came back with the coffee and donuts he picked up at the diner. "Gonna head out ASAP. No point in stayin in this dump, I think I heard rats in the wall while you were out."

"Dean," he tried.

"Seriously Sam," Dean interrupted, "get packed we're eatin' and leavin'."

Sam merely rolled his eyes at Deans behavior. He knew Dean would never willingly discuss his dream until he was forced to.

"Move it Sammy" Dean said glaring at his brother and shoving a donut practically whole into his mouth. Sam pulled a bitchface that bordered somewhere between "my brother is emotionally retarded" and "your eating habits are disgusting" while dean stared at him daring him to say something more.

"It's Sam"

Halfway to Washington and they had switched off driving a few hours ago. Dean was dozing less than peacefully in the passenger seat of the car. Sams stomach rumbled loudly at him making him realize it was time to stop for food. He kept his eyes peeled for a diner or a sign pointing him somewhere to eat while he drove.

"Lisa please, no. Im sorry. I can't, Im sorry. Please LISA"

Sam had just pulled into a diner's parking lot when Deans dream became about her again. "Sorry Dean" he said as he backhanded his brothers arm to wake him up. "Time for food jerk"

Dean woke with a start at the smack and rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand. "Where we at?"

"Bout halfway Im hungry so I stopped."

Sam walked toward the diner ignoring Dean and his dreams.

"Jeez whats up with you?" Dean asked after the waitress seated them and walked away. Sam had barely even noticed her flirting with Dean which meant he didn't give Dean the "I cant believe we're related" bitchface, which of course Dean noticed.

"Nothing"

"Pssh nothing my ass, you've been silent for five minutes. By now you should be talking my ear off about how we're gonna go after this thing. You still think its a wendigo?"

"Yeah it's a wendigo. Its been taking people from the national forest up there and all the rangers are doing is calling them disappearances. They don't even think its connected yet but this has been going on for years."

"Guess we got us a hike ahead huh"

"Yeah guess so"

"C'mon man, somethins up"

Sam stared at Dean and he got the message. 'You really wanna talk about this? Cuz you're not gonna like it'

Dean shook his head and smiled at the waitress who came to take their orders. "Double Cheeseburger with extra onions and fries. Coke to drink. Thanks"

"Ceasar salad with chicken and a coke please. Thanks"

The waitress sauntered away with a little extra swagger in her step after receiving one of Dean's patented smirks. Sam rolled his eyes at his brothers behavior. Back on the road after lunch Dean took over driving again. As the pulled into the lot of the motel where they would stay for the hunt Dean walked to the office this time and got a room for them as Sam had fallen asleep an hour before they got there. He drove to the room and shook Sam awake. "Time to get up Sleeping Beauty, we're here."

Sam woke and got the bags from the trunk while Dean unlocked the door to their room. "What the heck Dean? They outta rooms or somethin?"

"Some stupid convention in town and their fixing half the rooms cuz the place flooded a few weeks back, King was all they had man."

"Whatever lets just get some sleep before we go out in the morning what the hell time is it anyway?"

"1:30, damn that explains why the clerk was half asleep" Dean laughed.

Sam smiled a bit, it was good to see Dean do anything besides scowl since the dreams started. At least this way he didn't have to freeze if Dean woke him up with another dream.

Surprisingly they both slept through to the next morning when Sam awoke to Dean with his arm thrown across Sam's middle much like he had when Sam was younger. Dean had said once that Sam couldn't sneak off on him if Dean was sleeping on him. Sam shook his head at his brother and carefully so as not to wake him got up and showered. After he dressed he walked down the street for breakfast from the local diner. When he returned Dean was still asleep so Sam kicked the bed "Wake up man I got you one of those breakfast burritos with extra sausage. Go shower and we can eat and head out. Maybe we can get this thing in one shot. I mapped out the most likely caves its hiding in."

Dean groaned, "Man, why'd you wake me I was dreamin about those doublemint twins"

"DUDE too much infomation jeez. Go shower you stink."

Breakfast was quick and Sam showed dean the three caves where the Wendigo was most likely hiding out. "At least these two are close together. We can check those out first and if we get lucky…"

"Man don't use that word you'll jinx it!"

"Seriously Dean? Jinx it? What are you 12?"

"Bitch"

"Jerk"

"Lets pack up and go it's still early so we should have plenty of time to search."

They got to the forest about 9 and started the relatively short trek to the caves with the guns, knives, salt and lighter fluid. They got to the first cave shortly before noon and started the search with no luck. "Only thing living in there was bunch of bats man what a waste of time." Dean grumbled. "Well the next one isn't far, hopefully thats the one, then you can go to the local bar and drink the town dry of its whiskey supply." Sam smiled at his brother knowing Dean was only griping because he had dropped his supply of M&M's twenty minutes before and now he was running out.

"Don't want whiskey, want my candy back"

"Caves just up here, let's get this over with"

"Sammy you think this thing likes candy? Maybe it found what I dropped and we're wasting our time cuz its back there munching em up off the ground."

"Sammy? Dude where'd you go? I swear if you're screwin with me I'm gonna kick your ass."

…..

"SAM? Damnit where are you!" Dean rounded the rock where he had just seen Sam but he wasn't there. There was however a bloody mark on the rock where someone or something had whacked into it. Dean went into hunter mode at that moment. The Wendigo was close he could feel it. And the damn thing had Sam. Not Sam, anyone but Sam. "I'm comin' Sam" Dean said to the empty air. Senses on high alert Dean approached the cave entrance. 'This must be it' he thought to himself. 'Figures, we find the cave right away but Winchester luck ends up with one of us getting taken.' Dean's eyes adjusted to the dark of the cave slowly, too slowly for his liking and he kept his ears open for any sounds. As he walked through the cave he noticed several different paths the thing could have taken and clearly had taken over time. 'Shit' he thought, this could take all day and then I'm screwed if the sun sets. He looked around and saw blood but it wasn't fresh enough to be Sam's so he checked the next tunnel and the next when he heard what sounded like a cry of pain. The only problem was he couldn't tell which tunnel it came from until he came to the next tunnel. This blood was definitely fresh enough to be Sam's, now to make sure he didn't get taken by the thing before he got Sam out of there.

Twenty minutes later he was still following the infrequent blood drops and he heard it. Something was in the darkness with him and was getting closer. He pulled the flare gun out of his belt and used his hunter instincts to wait the thing out. He knew he only had one chance to get this thing because the gun only took one flare and he didn't have Sam for backup with his gun at the ready. As he waited he heard the swift movement before the thing was on top of him and he struggled to raise the gun to chest height and fired praying to a God he wasn't sure he liked very much that he got the thing in the heart.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee!" The inhuman scream went up as the creature fell off him and arched on the floor its chest a fireball right at the spot where its heart should be. Dean watched as it stopped twitching and used his salt and lighter fluid to burn the thing determined to bury it as soon as he made sure Sam was alright.

"SAM!" he yelled hoping this thing was the only one and trying to keep his worry for his brother under control.

"Dnnnnn" A barely heard moan that resembled his name came from about twenty yards ahead of him.

"Im comin Sammy" he yelled as he ran toward his brother.

"De…"

Sam forgot until that moment how much damage a Wendigo could do in a short time. Damn thing might have liked its meat fresh and keep it alive a few days but it sure could do alot when it wanted to eat fast. As he saw his brother come into view and start taking him down from the chains he was caught in he nearly sighed in relief and started to pass out. "Ah ah ah Sammy, gotta stay awake. No way I can carry your gargantuan butt back all by myself. Up and at em. Let's go" Sam blinked back into consciousness. "De'n m'head hur's" he mumbled. "I know buddy, lets get you back to the motel and I'll patch you up." "Thn's D'n. I'm sorry."

"You better be. How'd the damn thing get the drop on you anyhow?"

"Tree"

"It was in the tree? C'mon Sammy, stay with me now" Dean told Sam as he nearly fell over onto him again.

It took them until nearly 7 to get all the way back to the car and by that time Sam was practically unconscious against Deans side. As Dean held him up against the car he slapped Sam's face again. "Sam time to get in the car. Wake up man you got a concussion you need to stay awake man." Waking up again Sam let Dean fold him into the passenger side with a towel pressed to his head wound. "And don't be bleeding on my baby you got me bitch?"

"J'rk" Sam mumbled back.

When they finally pulled into the motel parking lot Dean roused Sam again from him nearly unconscious sleep and herded him to the room. As he cleaned and dressed Sam's wound while he fell asleep again, he couldn't help but think of all the people who had left him in his life. "Not you too Sammy. You can't leave me too. Not after Dad and Ellen and Jo and Lisa. I can't lose you too Sammy." Tears slid down Dean's face as he finished stitching the side of Sam's head and a hand came up and grabbed his wrist. Startled Dean looked into Sam's eyes. "Thought you fell asleep on me there again Sammy"

"Not leaving you Dean. Never leave you. I'm not Lisa. I'm Sammy. Know you loved her. Sorry I came back. Sorry I made her leave. So sorry." Sam slipped off to sleep again before Dean had a chance to respond. Three days of asprin and watching for infection and fever dreams later Sam finally woke up. "Dean?" he called out. Dean came out of the bathroom with a look of relief on his face. "Finally Sleeping Beauty awakes, thought I was gonna hafta find prince charming soon."

"HaHa very funny jerk. How long was I out? Im starving."

"Good cuz so am I. I guess it is possible to get tired of pizza after a while." Dean joked. "Why don't you wash up and watch those stitches I worked hard on em. You're ripe man"

Sam got up unsteadily and shuffled to the bathroom to wash the stink of antiseptic and sweat off himself. As he showered he winced as the water pressure was just a little too much on his slowly healing wounds. He thought about Deans reaction to his injuries. He remembered Deans tears realized what was really bothering Dean. As he got out of the shower he dried and dressed and shaved, determined to make Dean listen to him now that he was coherent enough for Dean to believe him.

"Dean." He said as he came out into the room.

"Whats up Sam?"

"Im not Lisa, Dean"

"I hope not, cuz you would make one ugly chick dude." Dean tried to joke off the feelings he felt coming on.

"Im serious Dean, I'm not Lisa. Im Sammy. I'm not gonna leave you alone again Dean. I won't go anywhere. I promise. Not goin anywhere, not till we Sundance and Butch Cassidy this place together. You got me Dean?"

"Yeah, I gotcha Sammy." And this time Dean believed. This time he knew that they'd be okay. That no matter what, he and Sam would face it together. "How bout we get food! I'm starving and I bet theres a hot waitress who needs some attention."

"Sure, Dean. Food it is."

A/N 2: Okay so I know its not perfect. And its kinda weird but my plot bunny wouldnt SHUT UP. I got the idea from the song I'm not lisa and its been hopping in my brain for weeks. Now its out there and if it sucks im sorry. I had planned on it being really short and not quite so happy ending but then the story and the characters had a mind of their own. Other authors get this. This is about three times the length I planned on. Thanks for sticking with the program. And I Promise I plan to finish my other story but this one just pushed that one on the back burner momentarily. :D Hope you enjoyed!~


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